The Boxing Joey

So a few days ago it has been proven that as always my besties versions of life events are far better then reality. Some stories can only be told verbally... like Mrs C's recent birthing experience - most would squeam at that story... I laughed so hard I cried.

Others are so much fun that they should be shared publically...
When I txt Miss LL to advise I was with Master Z at the hospital I may not have given enough details for the whole picture to be realised (I mean, here I was thinking the word hospital would warrent a concerned phone call but noooo... apparently only shoe emergencys have such high esteme... god I love her!).

"Happy birthday to Master D - sorry fb does not work at hospital... kangaroo vs Master Z - k 1, Z 0 :( he has a broken collar bone but is a hard arse so he is dealing well x lu"
Miss LL's mental picture... Master Z using a very witty "yo Mama" joke at Skippy the boxing Kangaroo (from here on out known as Joey) which naturally lead to a good ole bout of fisticuffs (ok - I may have added that part), eventually Joey lands a solid kick in Master Z's shoulder... I am sure that Miss LL has enough faith in my Master Z to have imagimed him punching Joey in the nose a few times or some other manly display of aggression, after all, my man would only go down swinging!

I would love to blame cartoons for this one - which would be valid... but it is much more of a reflection of the amazing world Miss LL has (rightly) created in her head!
Has anyone else had a serious communication breakdown via txt they would like to share?

Ok... So after finishing this post, whilst looking for a photo and chatting to Master Z, I have been informed that

When I was 18...

I have to admit that of late I have become just a little disillusioned by life.
Thinking back to when I was 18 I had no idea what 10 years would do to me... Here are just a few of these disappointments and surprises...

• I truly believed that hangovers & belly cramps were a myth - for anyone young reading this - THEY ARE NOT! 
• I did not drink coffee - if I did, I bounced off the walls - Now I am lucky if it opens my eyes wide enough to see the walls! 
• I thought I would NEVER grow boobs... Now they are huge and starting to hang lower... and lower... (and lower) 
• I have traded what I smoke after a good 8 years of being a good girl and smoking nothing
• I happily avoided shoe stores because I was disinterested (shocking I know)... Now I hate going near them as it keeps killing my bank balance (I believe this is due to the horrid thick heels of 2002!) 
• I was unsure of who I was and where I was going.... But I truly thought that would change! lol, Though I have a much greater understanding of what I don't want and where I don't want to go.
• I didn't want to be "in love", I didn't want to get married and I did not want to have children. Thanks feelings! You keep getting in my way - stop it, NOW! 
• I figured I would become a member of the 27 club... Nope. Passed that milestone! 

OMG... and music! What happened? Gangham Style & dubstep?! When did I get so horribly far from trendy? lol I have even developed a love affair for Country music - I am blaming Jake Owen! That man is to sexy for words - now I even want to go to America... Mostly so I can be constantly called Ma'am and hear people holla Ye-haw!

Ok, and on that note... I am going to go check out some eye-candy on youtube (in 2002 the media would have dictated who I could check out because magazines were where it was at - thanks 2012 technology, I love you!) 

Love always, 

Miss R x

Break-up's SUCK!

Eight days ago I was meant to get back on a plane to Australia. I couldn't. As we were about to leave for the airport I had my first panic attack in years. I was not ready to leave.

The day before I had two of the most important girls in my life cry on me and ask me not to leave - granted one was seven and this should have been expected but one was her Mum, and Mrs C does NOT cry!

I had a heart to heart with Master Z and postponed my trip back... with an unknown new arrival date. Master Z dealt with this amazingly. I got really ill and spent the last week sleeping and wondering if I was actually dying - that's right, Man Flu struck me down :P

Like the crazy person I am, a brainstorm was compiled to help figure out which country/city I should be living in. Auckland - with all my amazing people, the horrible weather and public transport; The place I had made home for over 12 years (and loved for at least 11 of those). OR Sydney - with it's exciting opportunities, amazing shopping and weather (Yes Master JH - this is an acceptable reason!); and its extreme uncertainty. Eventually it became clear that now was not when I wanted to be living out of a suitcase, trotting from town to town, broke! The last six months had been a challenge and this challenge was not accepted.

In the coming days I realised that it is unfair to drag things out. Master Z never wants to live ANYWHERE other then Australia, I want to go Everywhere! Master Z and I have different values, goals and ideas of life in general.  We have been having problems since almost the beginning of our relationship and Aussie really has not been working out for me, again, practically since I got there. It turns out that Love really is not enough sometimes.

Now I am left wondering why I feel the need to jump into everything both feet first. Why did I let someone else influence huge life changing decisions without really knowing what I wanted first. Why couldn't I fight harder for the things I needed. Why did I run from love as long as I did because I am getting old and may never end up with kids if I keep falling for Mr Wrong (plz note: the men I have dated are amazing - they are just wrong for me long-term. You guys are cool). ...Why did I get to 25 then realise that actually I do want kids?!!! OK - STOPPING THE CRAZY SPIRAL!
Most importantly, what lesson's am I missing that life is trying so hard to teach me??? Any ideas would be greatly appreciated!

Today I am feeling really hollow, drained and sad. I know that Master Z is hurt, and I know it is my fault. I know that in the next few weeks to deal with all this he is going to hate me. I know that everyone that loves him will call me a bitch. I know that at least for today I feel like a bitch.
Luckily though, I know that we both deserve to be exceptionally happy, and we will be, once we accept that this is the right thing to do and move on with our lives.

OMG guys, forgot to mention! I only have THREE PAIRS OF HEELS HERE!!! Sorry this has been such a downer post. In more positive news though, I start work tomorrow! :D I can't wait. Also it is my beautiful neices 7th birthday (the one that cried on me). She is a star and I love her more then words!

Ciao,
Miss R x

Confused Much...

The joy of vino with Miss A is the random conversations that come about and for some reason, a whole bunch of WHY's???

In NZ we have an amazing (code for WTF) statement "Yeah-yeah, Na!" that to this day bugs the hell out of me... how can I agree twice and then disagree... but still actually be agreeing - because I am not actually disagreeing, although it sounds like I am.

On top of this - Humans have GIANT brains - why are we such dumb-asses that cannot learn from our mistakes and grow a freaken pair??    We are not stupid... Why can we not access more then the 9% of our brain we currently use and sort our lives out???

This currently has been our two major confusions of the evening (I am sure there are more to come though) and I would love to hear yours...

Miss R x

Welcome to the world Joey - Now Claw!

                                                  Fun conversations in the car with Master Z
Miss R - How do kangaroo's mate since their tails are super powerful?
Master Z - Like most animals, the guy kangaroo mounts the girl I think
M R - Naa... but if Kanga is not in the mood she can just swat that fool like a fly!
M Z- Seriously this time I am not making up a story to fool you*
M R - Google will tell me if your lying
damn... girl roo's are way smaller then boy ones... and you're right...

M Z - Did you know that when a baby kangaroo is born the size of a mouse and has to climb up into the pouch to incubate?
M R - OMG, poor Kanga (did I mention that whenever I think of a Mummy Roo I have Winnie the Poo flashbacks of Kanga telling Roo to take a jacket! To this day I find it difficult to leave the house without a coat - thanks Mum ... and Kanga reinfocing her...) so a creapy mouse sized creature scratches its way up Kanga's belly! And the poor baby has to claw its way to safety!!
M Z - They are not hoping around while it makes its way... they stay still... I don't think it's as traumatic as you are imaging...
M R - So what is the gestation period of Roo love to creapy Joey birth?
M Z - I dunno... but it would be really fun to know all this stuff... Did ya know platerpus's lay egg's like birds?
M R - Creepy!!! Birds are gross!!! When I get reception again I am so doing some Roo-search... get it ;)
Master Z didn't make any noise but I heard him roll his eyes at me...
Now I want to see a platerpus in real life too damn it... I may have to go to the Zoo! With a childrens class :o kids get taught the coolist things and don't appreciate it... I wish I could be a kid again... hold up - no wine! She'll be right mate... I will pay grown up prices and pay my own bills!

***Results of Roo-search***
Kangaroos have a gestation period of about a month. They then suckle at teets inside the pouch for over a year and still call the pouch home for 18 months. Kangaroos can also provide more then one type of milk for newborn and older Joeys. Also kangaroos are almost constantly pregnant but can halt the pregnancy until joeys are old enough to fend for themselves, this is known as diapause.

* As always I may have taken slightly embelished here and there what Master Z's response was

Hands on Wall

Last week Master Z got his P’s (similar to NZ’s restricted license) meaning we now have the ability to get off “The Farm” to go places and do things on our own schedule and further a-field then the main street of Mudgee!

On Wednesday this led us to a river that Master Z and his family camped at for over 30 years every Christmas and an aboriginal site named “Hands on Wall”- where Master Z had been as a child but this was his first return since.

After a picnic beside the extremely idyllic river we both had a strong urge to jump into the beautiful clear water but being the middle of winter one of us decided it was a very bad idea... surprisingly this was me!    On the other hand, Master Z decided to strip down to his birthday suit and jump on in... for three seconds... then with a “wow, it’s really cold” he turned around and did it again... for another three seconds. He then promptly (and hilariously) put his clothes on as fast as humanly possible!

Another 15minutes down the road and I successfully managed to trek 1200 meters, through the bush - in heels - to see said hands 

It was a beautiful trek, with a few hairy ankle wobbles on rocks that didn’t agree with my choice of footwear but who cares, when boys (Master Z’s brother) challenge you with statements like “It is a bit of a hike, maybe doing it in heels is not such a great idea” I as a female felt that I must stand up and contradict such opinions with lady logic (or as my mother may call it - blind stubbornness).

Today the plan is to go to “The Drip” (Australians are so original with the naming of places at times)... I think though that the weather has other ideas... the grey clouds that are looming are slightly ominous, so I may have further photo’s/stories for you tomorrow, or I may unfortunately not.

Love always,

Miss R x

The Princess and the Pea

Last night to dinner I wore my extemely sexy liar shoes, they claim they have a leather upper but after a week or so, such a shoe tends to stretch slightly and mold to your feet.

These have not and therefore after three hours uncomfortable turns into  a "slightly" burning sensation... *totally worth it!

Around two hours into the night - after bragging about my accidental flashness with my awesome sparkly (prada) glasses, bows on my (versace) sunglasses and textured (prada) phone, I stood up and felt a stone in my shoe.

For those of you that wear heels - that burn - you know taking them off is a death wish so I spent a good six minutes while moving between awesome comic book pub to sexy chandelair bar weighing up my options.

I "of course" decided to play with fire and remove said stone!

First attempt was a slight failure. Waiting at the lights I pulled off my shoe and the green man flashed... back on goes my shoe and my new nemises the stone is still firmly lodged in my foot.

Then the boys stop to purve at a table of used books of all things - did I mention I love the city? - and I get to remove my shoe and off of the bottom of my foot I pull a dimante!

WTF? How does one find herseld in possesion of a stray dimante in her shoe that happens to look like it has been sharpened to a freaken point?!? (Presumably by bored elves... christmas is still quite far away after all).

Miss TH thought this was funnier then the "oh water" conversation and dubbed it The Princess and the Pea moment!

Have I mentioned how much I love my friends? :)

Miss R x