My Mask

This post has been in my drafts for a while and until today I have not had the balls to post it - btw not feeling bad today so that maybe why I can press publish... For years I have got up even though I wanted to stay in bed, smiled when I wanted to scream and laughed when I wanted to cry.

I often hate my life and the fact that I am still in it. It is so much easier to put on the mask and "fake it till I make it" then it is to contemplate how deeply it would effect my loved ones if I gave into the darkness.

A very wise (and extraordinary) woman once wrote "depression lies" and today this is the comment that is getting me through. Although I have never been diagnosed - nor will I ever be, I know that the gloom I am standing in is a lie.
Life is beautiful - I may have just lent out my rose tinted glasses and forgotten who too.

Today, like many other days, I will smile, I will laugh and I will miss my friends like crazy because for years it has been you (with the help of a bottle or two of wine) that got me through and for that I thank each and every one of you. You are the family I choose!

Miss R x